Category: Fr Jay

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Fr Jay

The Season of Advent

All around us we see signs of Christmas; stores are decorated, shows and commercials on television have gone to Christmas themes, Christmas Tree stands are up and the black Friday sales have begun. For the secular world, Christmas is here in full force and it isn’t even December first yet. In the church world, we are still over four weeks away from the Christmas season which officially begins on December 24th and last 12 days. In fact, before we can enter into Christmas, we must wait for the long expected birth of Christ during the Advent season.

The four weeks of Advent are a time set aside for Christians to remember the past, our present condition and also look to the future. Fleming Rutledge, in her book “Advent: The Once and Future Coming of Christ” explains it this way, “It would generally be agreed that Advent celebrates three “advents”. Adventus redemptionis: the incarnate Christ “born of the Virgin Mary, crucified under Pontius Pilate” Adventus sanctificationis: the presence of Christ in Word and sacrament and Advent gloricamus: the coming in glory to be our judge on the last day” (pg 5).  During Advent, we are made aware of the human form of Christ, born of Mary and crucified for our sins. Looking to the past, we recall the longing of the Isrealites for a messiah, acutely aware that for Christians, Jesus is the messiah who came down from Heaven in order to atone for the sins of humanity. We have the privilege of knowing the story as recounted in the Gospels. It is as a result of this knowledge that leads us into the second Advent, the presence of Christ in the Word and sacrament. This year, the Gospel readings we hear during Advent will remind us of not only the human side of Jesus but also the expectation of His second coming. It is this third Advent, the coming again of Christ that seems to get lost in the hustle and bustle of the secular world. The coming of Christ once again should be the primary focus of Advent. We should be looking forward to the promised future when Christ comes again to perfect the kingdom of God.

In all three Advent’s, we remember how much we and the world need the messiah. Each is an example of God’s promise to creation that the kingdom of God will once again be perfected. The season is firmly built upon the premise that “God is the active agent in creation and redemption. (pg 18.)” While Advent is not widely considered a penitential season, due the promised future, Advent is a season during which we all should examine our lives in anticipation of Jesus coming again. As we look toward the future redemption and judgment in the second coming of Christ, we should spend the four week of Advent, examining ourselves. One way in which we can prepare ourselves is by reflecting on the collects for Advent daily. In praying the collects, we can begin to understand the importance of preparation. In order to help, I have copied the Collect for the Second Sunday of Advent below.

“Merciful God, who sent your messengers the prophets to preach repentance and prepare the way for our salvation: Give us grace to heed their warnings and forsake our sins, that we may greet with joy the coming of Jesus Christ our Redeemer; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.” (BCP, 211)

In Christ,
Fr. Jay

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Fr Jay

Pinterest isn’t just about crafts and recipes

Social Media, depending upon a person’s age, can be seen as a waste of time, a tool used to interact with your friends or something that can be informative and educational. Recently, there has been lots of discussion about how social media can change people’s perceptions of things based upon the articles that show up on their pages.  Yet one aspect of social media that isn’t discussed much are the educational uses.  During seminary we spent time looking at ways that the church could use social media for its benefit.  Part of the final project was to create educational uses for social media.  The group I was a part of, looked at Pinterest. Prior to the project, I saw pinterest as a platform mainly for sharing craft and cooking ideas.  After all the demographics of Pinterest users is 81% female with an average age of 40 years old. (https://www.omnicoreagency.com/pinterest-statistics/) .  Yet in continuing to look at the facts about the users, collectively they are an incredible market.  For businesses the demographic is an exceptional value: 72% of users research products via pinterest, 93% said they use Pinterest to plan for purchases and 87% said they have purchased something because of Pinterest.  So how could a faith community use Pinterest as well?

First, we must understand what Pinterest is.  According to the Pinterest website, “Pinterest is where people discover new ideas and find inspiration to do the things they love! Pins are ideas that help you get creative or try something new, whether you’re planning a camping trip or collecting home improvement hacks.  Pins are saved to boards, keeping your ideas organized and easy to find. Follow other people or boards that are saving ideas you’re interested in, so you can do even more of what you love. (https://help.pinterest.com/en/guide/all-about-pinterest)

Now that we understand what Pinterest is, we can see how can a faith community use the platform for good. There are loads of topics that are important to people that attend church.  By creating boards on those topics and placing valuable information on them, the church is able to quickly help people find resources in times of need. When I created St. Matthew’s Pinterest account, I began by creating boards on subjects ranging from death, grief, hospice, book recommendations, and inspirational quotes, all of which are important to a faith community.

Creating the boards is only the first step though.  Like all filing systems, it is important to keep the information up to date and meaningful. As time goes on, I hope the boards of St. Matthew’s will continue to increase and change.  Pinterest is a social media platform after all so it cannot remain stagnant.  Since its inception, St. Matthew’s pinterest account has increased to eighteen boards with more in the planning stages.

I encourage you to visit our boards and to explore the resources we have shared as well as recommending new board ideas.   Pinterest is here to stay and it is no longer just for crafts and cooking! Our Pinterest boards can be found here.

 

These thoughts are not the thoughts of St. Matthew’s Episcopal Church but rather of Fr. Jay.  If you wish to read more of Fr. Jay’s posts, they can be found on his personal blog, non nobis solum nati sumus, whose title is a quote from Cicero “Not for ourselves are we born”

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Fr Jay

When Christmas isn’t Merry

Thirteen years ago, Christmas was a sad and lonely time for me. My marriage was over, my toddler was living with my ex-wife in another state and I didn’t really feel like Christmas was something I wanted to celebrate. I hoped and prayed for a Christmas Miracle, for my marriage and family to be reunited once again. In my heart I knew the miracle would never take place, but I continued to pray anyway. I wanted the season of Christmas to end before it ever began. It was hard to walk through the mall watching families do their Christmas shopping while I was fighting back the tears from my eyes. Even watching my own brothers and sisters celebrate with their children on Christmas morning made me wish that it were January 2nd and not December 25th. In short, that Christmas season was not one of joy and expectation but rather one of sadness and dread. In the time since that fateful year, I have met many other people who have similar feelings about the Christmas season.

During this time of year, we think that everything is merry and bright. Yet for many people that concept couldn’t be farther from the truth. While many people are decorating their homes, buying presents for family members and listening to Christmas Carols, there are also many people for whom this season is a dark time. A period filled with sadness, anxiety, and depression. For some people going about their daily lives during this time of year is a difficult task. Whether their feelings stem from the death of a husband or wife, the overdose of a child, the end of their marriage or even as a result of missing the child they can’t have due to infertility, the darkness they encounter is real. For them, the anticipation of the light of Christ entering our world as a baby with two loving parents on Christmas Day is not a sign of joy but can be another reminder of the world they no longer have.

Besides the challenges people face due to mental health issues, there are many families forced to decide between gifts for their children and food and shelter for their family. For the unemployed and underemployed, Christmas is a very real struggle. Imagine the toll it would take knowing that you are unable to buy even a small gift for your child because your checking account is overdrawn, your credit cards are maxed out and by living paycheck-to-paycheck you ensure that for the other eleven months in the year your family has food and shelter. For families living on those conditions, turning on the television or going to the mall is a painful reminder of what they don’t have. Everyone we turn right now, we are bombarded by merchandising and gifts, yet that isn’t possible for many.

Our society has the image of an ideal Christmas. Whether it is in movies or on television, everyone always lives happily ever after at Christmas. Movies, like Jingle All the Way, show parents doing everything possible to get “the” perfect present for their children. The Home Alone Franchise tells us that even when families struggle with each other in the end everyone will be together and happy.

If you are struggling to find joy and happiness this Christmas season, I want you to know you are not alone. There is no shame in how you feel right now. While the picture perfect Christmas may be real for some, it is not for everyone. It is okay to be worried, anxious or sad. Those are all valid and normal human emotions. Honor your feelings, let them be within you and know others feel the same way. The Christmas season that is celebrated from Thanksgiving through December 25 is not a religious celebration but a secular celebration. Whether we are prepared or not, on December 25, the birth of baby will be celebrated. In that birth, God came down to earth in order to live as one of us, to feel like one of us and to suffer like one of us. God knows those feelings we try to hide from others this time of year and God will be with us in those feelings. We are not to feel ashamed or embarrassed by them because no matter what, God has and will continue to call us Beloved.   We are loved unconditionally and that is what is celebrated on December 25th.

Many years ago, as I struggled that Christmas, many dark thoughts went through my head. It was a direct result of caring friends that I made it through that season without harming myself. If you or someone you know is struggling this season reach out for help, my door is always open; my phone is always on.  If you aren’t comfortable talking to me I can refer you to other people or agencies. You are too important to struggle in silence.

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Fr Jay

The Love of God is never ending

“Almighty God, to you all hearts are open, all desires known, and from you no secrets are hid: Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit, that we may perfectly love you, and worthily magnify your holy Name; through Christ our Lord. Amen.”
Collect for Purity, Book of Common Prayer pg 355

 

I am currently reading a recently published book titled, Without Shame or Fear, From Adam to Christ by A Robert Hirschfeld.  In the first chapter, Hirschfeld discusses the Collect for Purity and how when we stop to think about what it says, it can be a scary thing.  Take a moment and re-read the collect.  Take time to think about the words and notice how your body reacts to those thoughts.

My therapist, (yes I have a therapist I see regularly and I’m not ashamed to admit it) has been working to get me to notice how my body reacts to my thoughts.  For me, when I stopped and pondered what the collect says, I became nervous and scared.  Realizing that nothing about me is hid from God is a scary thought, as all my flaws and imperfections are visible.  All my shame, all my fear is laid out for God to see.  Everything I have done, both positive and negative, is revealed.  As I further reflected, I had another insight though, no matter what I have done or who I am, I am God’s Beloved.  As St. Paul’s says in his letter to the Romans, …nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God in Jesus Christ.  (Romans 8:38-39)

As we begin the month of November, the month we celebrate Thanksgiving, I want to give thanks to God.  Even though our hearts are open, all desires known and no secrets are hid to God, God still loves us.  If there is only one thing that we are able to be thankful for today, it is that God loves us no matter what!  I ask that you take a moment to ponder this; you are God’s Beloved whom God loves with no strings attached.  What a wonderful gift, we are fully known and loved by Almighty God, the creator of all things.

This November, I challenge you to begin and end your day with a prayer of Thanksgiving.  Offer a thanksgiving to God for all the wonderful things that are part of your life.  If you are struggling to find something to be thankful for, give thanks for God’s love and the knowledge that God is always with us through good and bad.  And finally give thanks for yourself and the love you have been shown by Almighty God.

In Thanksgiving for each and everyone of you,

Fr. Jay †

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